"Receive Your Blessing, Daughter of Heaven"
Silktassel Garrya fremontiiPT Circle 2.23.10
A familiar cough that comes when my heart unable to receive arising as I put first drops in my mouth; the taste, a wave of bitterness with white-capped apple skin sweetness. The medicine washes down through my chest smoothly pushing cough aside, dissipating and erasing its energy. Memories of a family, friends of my family, with two boys younger than me who tortured animals and a father who had to leave because he was abusive. Very defined, clear visions. A stout bearded dwarf staying in place as my view rotated all the way around him. A smooth feeling, deeply relaxing, a layer between me and outer experiences and sensations. Maybe it is a more deeply felt inner awareness of sensory impressions. Lots of energetic release in abdomen, head pushed forward and down.
Relaxing tension in inner thighs, through legs, especially shins, relieving tension on subtle levels, warmth of blood and energy flowing strongly into places that weren’t receiving, places that needed nourishment. Even my eyelids letting go. Tension released on a cellular level. A finger writing on a dusty window: "Stored Tension." Again lots of movement in the abdomen, waves of muscle twitches through ribcage with a corresponding release in the gut. Condor emerges from my belly, wings outspread to protect, letting go very easy. So relaxed, not in the head. Nothing to struggle against. Total trust and willingness to let go with ease. Usually more difficult in these places where I hold so much. A woman with dark silver chain mail that comes to a point at her forehead, a Falcon Woman, eyes me. It is she who brings the healing. Then I am in a doctor’s office. The receptionist setting up an appointment for my next visit. Others comment on the matter-of-factness of Silktassel. I know that I will keep working with this plant as the subtle-layer tension release continues…
Experiences of Others:
Bottom lip quivering, tried to relax it, worrying about things I worry about and getting frustrated, "Slow down" "Yeah, I know, everyone's telling me that"
Same with lip, litany of things I need to deal with, a list of things I don't like about myself, matter-of-fact, trying to relax, heart energy open, really open to energy of others, but body very tense, a duality
Matter-of-fact, brought up my insecurities, observation, ultra-sensitive to sounds around me, calming overall, heavy blanket over body, minimized importance of insecurities
Awareness of smell, a moistness in my nose, my whole family smoked growing up, I withdrew from it, my whole body, tension of holding back, armor releasing, drifted off, everything became more acute, a minor ecstasy experience
From taste a sensation that moved through mouth, subtle blue energy that moved through being, dissolving tension, clearing head, observing light dissolve it away, fluffed heart like a pillow, came in very tense, now really calm, super relaxed
Calm, energized, usually get absorbed in sensations, watching it happen over and over, emotionally, hard to explain, underlying worry seemed pointless, everything will take care of itself, felt good, felt normal going back to being a kid
"Lay your head before beauty and rest"
"Receive your blessing, Daughter of Heaven", our natural state is to be receiving nourishment on every level, told me to take watch off, it’s going to take some time, don’t worry about time, stimulated parasympathetic, receiving light coming into eyes as nourishment, everything could be nourishment, if we can’t take things in on a subtle level, we try to fill our beings with cruder energy, leads to hunger